harlold:

i’m genuinely concerned that no one will fall in love with me

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  • 11 hours ago
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  • 11 hours ago
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hanniggle:

darrynek:

what she says: no

what she really means: no

women are so complicated how are us men supposed to understand them

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  • 11 hours ago
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  • Me:ah, yes. Home alone. I can do whatever I want!
  • Me:*turns TV up a couple notches*
  • Me:*watches YouTube videos without headphones*
  • Me:getting crazy up in here
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  • 11 hours ago
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communistbakery:

I was trying to make a pun about escaping quicksand but I’m stuck

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  • 11 hours ago
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  • 11 hours ago
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flannelbuttphenomenon:

life hack: get a tattoo. if the people at the job interview notice it and look concerned, laugh a little and explain “it’s just temporary.”  months later if your boss asks why you lied and said it was a temporary tattoo, stare off into the distance and whisper with a tremulous voice the poor excuse for truth your subconscious has been fighting for its entire insignificant existence: “everything is temporary.”

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  • 11 hours ago
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gnarly:

friend: can you go buy something for me at the store ill give you the money

me: ughhhhhhhh

friend: you can buy something for yourself too with my money

me:

image

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  • 11 hours ago
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  • 11 hours ago
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  • 11 hours ago
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